Well, first of all why even question it? Is dating safe? Is there a risk involved in dating (as we know it today)? Might it put our young in a position where they are tempted (lust of the flesh) to not remain pure?
How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word.
I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.
Psalm 119: 9-10
In order for a young person to stay on the path of purity he or she must follow God's commands. What are these commands?
It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in a passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity. 1 Timothy 4:12
So, how as parents can we prepare our sons and daughters for the inevitable temptation to be impure? Perhaps starting by looking what God says about sex… Our children need to understand God's will and commands in order to follow them. We cannot tip toe around these issues just because the world is saying something else. Or avoid truth because we made our own mistakes and lived by the world's standards. This is our chance to train our children the way they should go.
Start children of on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6
In Galatians we are clearly informed that if we live by gratifying the desires of the flesh, we will not inherit the kingdom of God.
So I say, walk in the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit was is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5: 19-21
Sharing what a beautiful gift sex is, and helping our children understand that it is meant for marriage, will certainly help guide the conversation about remaining pure and the temptations that will inevitably come about during dating.
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral. Hebrews 13:4
But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 1 Corinthians 7:2
With His truth, then, being clearly defined in scripture, we come back to dating. A guiding light in our life has been to live according to His word, and not by worldly expectations and "norms." Dating today does not have the same intention as courtship once did. The original purpose of courtship was marriage. Dating today is recreational and seems to include the expectation of sexual relations. Is that what we, as Christians, want for our sons? No! We want them to learn biblical truths and therefor focus, one day, on "courting" not "dating," in order to honor God by staying pure for their future wife. What a gift to their marriage!
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