Supporting My Husband in His Role

This week my husband started reading Family Shepherds by Dr. Voddie Baucham Jr. I am thrilled and could not help but skim through it myself.

While Ed has been a wonderful and loving husband for over 18 years, it is amazing to see the beautiful changes that have been taking place as I have let go of trying to control things. And, as I have changed my behavior to reflect that of a godly woman, wife, and mother, it has finally allowed Ed to step up to his God-given role--the shepherd of our family. I realize now how I stood in the way of God's plan…and I was certainly not respecting my husband's calling.

Unfortunately, going into my marriage, I had a very worldly view of the roles of men and women and husbands and wives--how misguided I was. Now, as a believer, I know all I need to do is look to His Word for guidance. Our LORD has it all laid out for us. After all, He created man and woman and marriage. And, as Christians, we must abide by His commands with intention.

I love Dr. Baucham's biblical description of a family shepherd's role:

As family shepherds, our primary mission to love our wives as our own selves. We must not allow anything to interfere with this mission.

He goes on to say:

A true family shepherd must be a man of the Word--a man of theology and doctrine. The man who desires to lead the family he loves must also be a true lover of the Lord's Word.

Unfortunately, for all too long, has the world distorted what a healthy marriage should look like--not recognizing God's design based on love, respect, and very defined roles. Perhaps that is why so many marriages end divorce…or struggle day in and day out.

In regard to parents, Dr. Baucham stresses:

As a father, I resonate with the apostle John's words: "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth" (3 John 4). However, like every family shepherd, I struggle with the tendency to prioritize and concentrate on other pursuits. We must remember that there's nothing more "real" or more consequential than the fact that our children are immortal souls who must stand one day before God.

Have you ever considered this? When you look into the eyes of your children, do you mostly see a future doctor, lawyer, or linebacker? Or do you see a person who'll spend eternity in either heaven or hell? Do you see a soul that must bow the knee to Christ?"

Wow! Our mission as parents is huge!

What divine timing then that last night we watched the movie Courageous. The movie portrays a beautiful example of men making a godly resolution to shepherd their families--giving everything to love and lead their wives and children. The character Adam Mitchell's speech at the end tells it all. What a beautiful world we would live in if all fathers would lead their families according to God's plan instead of for themselves or according to the world's ideals.

"...I now believe that God desires for EVERY father to courageously step up and do whatever it takes to be involved in the lives of his children. But more than just being there providing for them, he is to walk with them through their young lives and be a visual representation of the character of God, their father in heaven. A father should love his children, and seek to win their hearts. He should protect them, discipline them, and teach them about God. He should model how to walk with integrity and treat others with respect, and should call out his children to become responsible men and women, who live their lives for what matters in eternity. Some men will hear this, and mock it. Or ignore it. But I tell you that as a father, you are accountable to God for the position of influence he has given you. You can't fall asleep at the wheel, only to wake up one day and realize that your job or your hobbies have no eternal value, but the souls of your children do. Some men will hear this and agree with it, but have no resolve to live it out. Instead, they will live for themselves, and waste the opportunity to leave a godly legacy for the next generation. But there are some men, who regardless of the mistakes we've made in the past, regardless of what our fathers did NOT do for us, will give the strength of our arms and the rest of our days to loving God with all that we are and to teach our children to do the same. And whenever possible to love and mentor others who have no father in their lives, but who desperately need help and direction. And we are inviting any man whose heart is willing and courageous, to join us in this resolution. In my home, the decision has already been made. You don't have to ask who will guide my family, because by God's grace, I will. You don't have to ask who will teach my son to follow Christ, because I will. Who will accept the responsibility of providing and protecting my family? I will. Who will ask God to break the chain of destructive patterns in my family's history? I will. Who will pray for, and bless my children to boldly pursue whatever God calls them to do? I am their father. I will. I accept this responsibility and it is my privilege to embrace it. I want the favor of God and his blessing on my home. Any good man does. So where are you men of courage? Where are you, fathers who fear the Lord? It's time to rise up and answer the call that God has given to you and to say I will. I will. I will!"

For all too long did I stand in my husband's way to fulfill his calling and responsibility to lead our family. Today I am thankful to realize what I can do, as a godly wife, to support my husband in his role rather than hinder it. God knows my amazing husband deserves that!

To His Glory,
Keira