Reckless or Intentional? Depends on Your Worldview...

Yesterday, the bank that handles our mortgage (it is actually owned by Freddie Mac), responded to our "hardship" paperwork. In order to qualify for a "short sale," you have to prove a hardship--ours was the fact that our income was now half of what it had been, therefore we can no longer afford our home. In addition, the offer on the house is essentially $25,000 less than what we bought it for 9 1/2 years ago (great investment, huh?). Needless to say, we are under water.

So, they responded saying that we do not qualify for "hardship" because I chose to resign and therefore willingly gave up half of our income. Yup, I sure did! Had I been fired, according to the bank, we would have automatically qualified. But, I didn't get fired; I resigned with my husband's support and encouragement because it was the only option for our family. We decided to do what was best for our family and for the education of our two youngest, not for our finances.

Just as missionaries make choices to endure challenging living situations, danger, and possibly poverty for the sake of spreading the Good News, so am I a missionary who must disciple, alongside my husband, our children. God calls us to build His kingdom and that must first begin in the home. We know God will provide for our needs, and we have placed complete trust in Him and have faith in His word.

So, while the bank, and the world, may judge us as reckless, we know that we have never been more intentional as parents.

p. 67 When You Rise Up: A Covenantal Approach to Homeschooling by R.C. Sproul Jr.

My Struggles as a New Homemaker

In case you missed my second article over at The Focused Homemaker: My Struggles as a New Homemaker, head on over and check it out.

The Mission of Motherhood

I have only just begun to read The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson, but it has been so thought provoking and revealing. I just can't help but wonder how it is that we Christians have bought into the lies that motherhood is not a career worthy of our entire focus. How is it that we have allowed society to change our values? Why?

Many in our culture today look at the biblical view of family, children, and gender roles with much disdain and difficulty. But we must nonetheless consider that God himself directed through his Word that it was a "very good" design, the best plan for bringing about his purposes on earth and for blessing all people. p. 29

It seems that more and more today our culture is striving to be in opposition of God's perfect design. And where has that gotten us? Each step away has adverse effects.

When the biblical mission of motherhood is devalued and disappears from culture, the whole next generation suffers morally, emotionally, and spiritually. p. 34

Is there really anything more important, as a mother, for our family and our society, than dedicating your entire life to the mission of motherhood?

No More Grey

Black and White?

Shades of Grey?

My understanding of the world used to involve many shades of grey; today I know different. The grey has truly been washed away. And the most beautiful part is that it is clear as day (boy, I am rhyming here) and very black and white in His Word--God's infallible and timeless gift to us.

Over the past (almost) year, God has been busy molding me, and transforming our family, into something new--or something it should have been all along. Just as the potter in Jeremiah 18 took spoiled clay and formed it into something pleasing, so is God doing with us. But, it takes time.

I am far from perfect, but I hope I am pleasing to Him. I certainly now know the difference between right and wrong, God's will and the world's desires, God's purpose for His creation and Satan's evil ways, and how truly narrow the gate is.

Enter though the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction and there are many who enter through it. Matthew 7:13

But, with that clear vision comes frustration, regret, and anger. I need to hand that all over to Him because those feelings are certainly not acceptable to God.

Some days I feel like going back in time to change events and choices, but I know that even those things, as made clear in Romans 8:28, have been used for a purpose. Other days I feel like I am drowning and simply want to live off the grid with my family, tucked away from the evils that permeate every aspect of our lives, but alas, that is not possible.

So, today, I pray for a happy and fearful heart (I know that is oxymoronic). I pray that I rejoice daily in God's beautiful gifts and perfect plan that is simply black and white. I pray that my fear of God's judgement will drive me to live according to His will, knowing that one day I must stand before my LORD and answer to Him.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14

Offer On Our House

Well, the process is certainly moving along. Last night, after having our house on the market for a month, we got an offer--it is laughable--so much less than what we bought it for 9 1/2 years ago. Sad, really! So, since our house is up for short sale, we are just sending the offer on to the bank to see what they say. If all goes without too many issues, we could be closing at the end of December.

Yup! At the end of December, we could be homeless…well, not really. Thankfully, my dad has said that we can stay at his house for a while. It really makes no sense for us to try to rent a place knowing that we could be moving this summer. Come May, then we can cross that bridge…

So, how am I feeling? Actually, I am at peace and am so grateful to be home and teaching Evan and William. I am fulfilling my calling, and it is a beautiful place to be. I am so grateful to no longer be suppressed by the world's view of motherhood, and instead I feel so liberated. The sacrifices we are making to return to biblical living is worth it all. My husband is so supportive and strong, but he is anxious. He is struggling with not knowing what the future holds and is ready to be working at a college or university. This has been a long process--he started his doctoral studies over 8 years ago, and now it is almost a year since he earned his doctorate. It was certainly hard-earned.

Right now, we have no idea what God is working behind the scenes, but we know that He is in control. He is so good, and His providence is clear. We continue to trust and follow His lead--there is no better path.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3: 5-6

My New Apron!

My first half apron from an old pillowcase from Goodwill and an old jean pocket...total cost $1.50.

Letting Go of Finances

After spending several days this past week under the weather, I am finally feeling back on track. Yippee! I also had our oldest son home from school, for fall break, so I wanted to focus on all my boys--Collier just walked out the door going back to school. Not yippee! I can't wait to have him homeschool!

So, yesterday's sermon was amazing--I had to write about it as God was clearly speaking to me though our guest pastor as he spoke on Philippians 3:1-16. Paul's experience clearly justifies all that we have done to let go and turn our life toward Him and Him alone.

During Paul's imprisonment, he wrote Philippians and, in this passage, explained the joy that came from the gain of knowing and pressing toward Christ. When Christ redeemed Paul, he had turned away from all his past gains, credentials, and all that he had known, been educated in, believed in, and stood for. By letting go of his past, he gained so much.

But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count then but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith. Philippians 3:7-9

When we made the step to fully walk in faith and trust God and His promises, it certainly did not logically make sense. Why would we willingly give up a secure job and a whole salary when it was hard enough to make it on two? Why risk losing our home? Why risk our finances by not having healthcare coverage for me? Why? Because we had to make changes to live according to God's commands. And, God promises in His Word to provide.

For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? Matthew 6:25-27

In talking to many over these past few months, the one thing that people seem to hold onto and refuse to hand over to God is finances. We have been there! I think back to several opportunities we had, when we came to a fork, to let go and put our trust in Him in regard to our finances. We didn't! We held onto them and have suffered since. When we fully hand them over to God, we are also giving Him the glory. He is our provider and He alone deserves the glory. That, of course, is in direct opposition to the mentality of the culture we live in where we take the glory for our hard work and our accomplishments, financial or otherwise.

For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Letting go is not easy nor does it logically make sense, but then I think back to Paul. Did it make sense for him to give up his status, credentials, etc. to follow Christ? And, yet, what did Paul do? See, God gives us the grace and leading, but we must let go in order to follow.